Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Top Ten Unreported Draft Headlines: #8

The top ten draft-related headlines which did not get nearly the attention they rightfully deserved continues with #8. 

Can he get that order to go?

In 2009, Warner Bros. released the movie "The Blind Side" about a well-to-do suburban family who takes in and offers a second chance at life to a homeless teen who consequently becomes one of the most highly coveted prospects in college football. The movie is based on the real life story of Baltimore Ravens offensive tackle Michael Oher and won Sandra Bullock an Oscar for Best Actress. Since then, the movie has been shown at least once every weekend on the ABC Family Network -- which, in itself, tells you exactly what sort of film it is.

If the movie were to be remade by, say, Quentin Tarantino, it might look more like this:

A uniquely talented but bullheaded four-star Rivals prospect drops out of high school to pursue a career as a narcotics peddler. His noble pursuit is derailed though after he is caught breaking into a drug dealer's home and charged with burglary and possession of a concealed weapon. Incarcerated in county jail, the knucklehead catches a break when the drug dealer whose home was broken into refuses to testify because, after all, he is a drug dealer. Therefore, the charges are dropped against the knucklehead who interprets this most fortunate of breaks as life's little way of telling him that he ought to continue selling drugs. He is eventually offered an opportunity to play football at a junior college upon passing his GED on his third try, and ultimately, he receives an athletic scholarship to play college football at a Division I program.

Once there, he excels at a level which convinces him to enter the NFL Draft as a junior, and it is even rumored that there is a chance that he he could go as high as the third-round. But that is where this story would pivot on a plot point yet again as the knucklehead would be arrested for destruction of property only a month away from the draft.

But, as all good stories must have a "happy ending," the knucklehead overcomes all obstacles and is nonetheless chosen in the first-round of the NFL draft by a team which obviously doesn't adhere to the concept of drafting the "best player available" and is coached by a guy who ran Southern Cal's vaunted college football program straight into NCAA sanctions just before he bolted for the NFL.

And because the only actuality the story about Michael Oher would approximate to the incidents portrayed above is that the character eventually would become a first-round NFL pick, Tarantino might be compelled to base his remake on an altogether different real-life character than the likable, soft-spoken, pathos-oozing Oher. Perhaps, the remake could instead be about Bruce Irvin, the OLB from West Virginia whom the Seattle Seahawks shockingly selected with the 15th overall pick and whose real life replicates those events highlighted above.

It was in the days following the surprise pick of Irvin in the first-round that the media turned its attention to comparing his story to that of Oher's. Seemingly always looking for the next great inspirational story, the media did not differentiate between Oher overcoming legitimate obstacles and not obstacles of his own making like those which Irvin continues to create for himself. Therefore, very little if any coverage was paid to the circumstances surrounding Irvin's arrest a month earlier for destruction of property. 

It having initially been reported that the incident involved Irvin shattering a sign inside a Jimmy John's sandwich shop, the man himself took to Twitter to dispel such an inaccurate and wholly slanderous characterization:
"If u honestly believe I would blow my chances destroying jimmy johns after all the hard work I put in to get in my situation ur crazy!"
As it turned out, he indeed would not risk all his hard work throwing a tirade at a Jimmy John's -- how uncouth that would be after all. But, on the other hand, he apparently was willing to risk all that hard work on knocking a magnetic sign off the roof of a Pita Pit delivery car after the restaurant refused to allow him to exchange the pita sandwich he had just ordered for one which he decided he wanted more. 
And for those of you who believe that this may not be a natural reaction to such a situation, I would but ask you what you base your conclusion on?

Have you ever been denied the opportunity to partake in a fast food restaurant's sandwich exchange program?  Have you ever even tried to exchange a sandwich which you just ordered -- and possibly took a bite out of already -- at no additional cost to yourself?  And if so, was there even a delivery car parked out front with a magnetic sign attached to its roof at the very moment you wanted to vent your frustration? 

Matter of fact, I find it highly unlikely that anyone other than Bruce Irvin would ever find himself in such a situation. And therefore, who are you to judge him?  He clearly should be considered an inspiration to all. 


  1. Seattle drafts like tards. Remember them taking James Carpenter the year before? No one had him going before the 3rd round! Carrol is arrogant and a coward. He fucks up SC then runs away! He'll never do shit for Seattle.

  2. If he's good, nobody will care where he was drafted.

  3. I wager he busts. I see that all the time when some idiot wants to get something else right as his order is about to be given to him. A guy did that once at a Culvers drive-thru on me. He was pulled over to the curb and the girl comes out and gives him his food, and he sends her back for something else. I was next in line and already late, so I got I food first but couldn't go anywhere because his car was in the way. Then when he got his 2nd order, he kept the girl standing there at his window while he checked his order. So I just thumped the horn! scared everyone half out of their wits. The knob moved then.

  4. And who'd you 'Queen fans get, Matt Klalil- OMG!!! lol! I live on west coast,and so know that guy sucks!!! Who'd he play against at USC?? Pac10 doesnt have shit for pass rushers!!! We play you in Nov. & guarantee Irvin gets at least 2 sacks on your stiff- if hes even signed by then, ha!

    1. Youre kididing right? Irvin was a complete reach and he'll be lucky if he even sees the field against Kalil. As for Kalil not facing any pass rushers in the Pac-10 (it's actually the Pac-12 now) he faced Nick Perry every day in practice and he went in the first round to Green bay. Doubt that would hve happened if Perry wasn't any good.